


A Symbol of Hope

by nyxxbx



Series: Bel'annar'is [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, F/M, Haven (Dragon Age), Lavellan/Solas Angst (Dragon Age), Mutual Pining, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24108430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxxbx/pseuds/nyxxbx
Summary: The Breach has been sealed, but perhaps the broken sky was the least of their problems. Solas' perspective on Lavellan's decision to sacrifice herself for Haven.
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas, Lavellan & Solas
Series: Bel'annar'is [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733095
Kudos: 15





	A Symbol of Hope

He nodded towards the Seeker, tongue tingling from the spiced, honeyed wine, silverite irises lighter than usual. "The heavens are scarred, but yes.. I feel no residual energy coming from the Breach. It is sealed. The Herald has accomplished a feat thought to be impossible." Solas said, fingers wrapped around an empty wooden cup, small remnants of alcohol still lingering at the bottom. 

Cassandra smiled, a tentative, but toothy grin as he gazed at the calm skies above. "I can't believe I almost had her executed. It appears my doubts were misplaced with every decision she has made." She chewed on her bottom lip, brows furrowed deep in contemplation.

Solas emptied his cup and shook his head as he leaned on the stone wall. "Doubt is good, Seeker. You declared the Inquisition reborn, gave her the chance to prove herself. And she has done so.." he trailed off. _She has done so with upmost brilliance_ , he thought, eyes gazing wistfully towards the merry celebration transpiring next to the tavern, in pursuit for moonlight-coloured locks and pools of gold. 

"You should join the celebration, Solas. We all deserve it." Cassandra said, feet already on their way to join the joyous crowd. 

He shook his head, showing her the empty cup. "I am finished with my celebration, Lady Seeker. I am certain you can revel in the festivities for me." Cassandra let out a laugh, leaving him alone. 

And he truly was alone. Everyone from the village had gathered around the tavern, stumbling feet dancing to a tune that was marred with melody of laughter and cheers, eyes lit up in pleasant smiles and joyous tears. _This would make for a breathtaking memory in the Fade_ , he thought. 

A sharp giggle distracted him from the crowded scene and he turned to glance at the small girl that was tugging at a hesitant figure towards the centre of the gathering. The girl beamed at the rigid female, excited words falling from her lips as she urged her on. Fen'rei was shaking her head, her pale locks tied in a low bun, strands of hair falling against her _vallaslin_ -carved cheekbones. He could see the crimson on her cheeks even from his spot, and it reminded him of the night before when she had stumbled into his grasp, so vulnerable, so anguished. 

He appreciated the way her golden eyes glowed as she indulged the small girl in a dance, her feet moving gracefully despite the awkward stiffness in her shoulders. He let a small smile grace his features as he watched her move, watched as she spun the girl in a circle, her own lips outstretched in a genuine, tentative grin. She looked comfortable, she looked like she was at home, _vhenas_ , with the people she fought to protect from the beginning despite being doubtful of her worth and abilities. 

She managed to do all of this, and to see her so joyful warmed him from within. Or _perhaps_ it was the wine, he could not be certain. 

Dorian approached her, hands equipped with two cups of spiced wine, his darkened skin glistening next to the bonefire. She smiled at him, and Solas could feel his stomach churning as she took a tentative sip of the alcohol, lips painted a ruby colour from the liquid. He let out a sigh, forcing himself to tear his eyes from her form, hand clenching behind him. He could not let this grow, this attraction he had could only bring pain, for him and for her. 

He could deal with the pain, he had done so for centuries now, but he did not want to be another source of her anguish. He had already done enough. 

The joyful scene before him suddenly tuned out as his magic picked up on the restless spirits beneath the Veil. They murmured, warned, moved about in distress. He moved away from his spot on the wall, embers moving towards the view on the horizon. His eyes narrowed to focus on the glowing lights there, his mind momentarily confused by their appearance. 

They looked like fire wisps, contrasting with the crystal-white snow around them. A red glow surrounded them, their suspicious trek swift and somehow deranged. His feet moved towards the Herald, mind set on alerting her of the strange lights. 

Just as he realised what the scene in the distance might present, Cullen burst into the merry gathering, their expressions still in bliss of the celebrations, eyes gazing curiously at the panicked Commander. 

"There are forces approaching! To arms!" He shouted, his voice wavering as he shouted towards the soldiers of the Inquisition, hand already encircling his sword. 

Fen'rei had dropped the wooden cup she had been holding, wine spilling over the snow, like crimson coursing through the people's veins. Solas hoped the picture engraved into the icy-white texture did not predict what was coming for them. 

She had unsheathed her daggers, her form still clad in armour from the mission before, the sealing of the Breach, a moment that seemed so long ago, already lost to the fear of death. Panicked shouts and screams enveloped the village of Haven, joyous cheers perishing with the sound of approaching forces, their boots stomping against the snow. He could feel shoulders and arms bumping into him as he fought his way through the terrified crowd.

"Go with Chancellor Roderick. He'll keep you safe." He saw her kneeling before the small girl, hands at her shoulders as she spoke, the lull of her voice a soothing demand to the child before her. 

The girl hesitated, blue eyes burning into the golden pools of the Herald, tears coursing down her cheek as she listened to the woman that was a symbol of hope. A sob wracked through her as she suddenly leaped forward, her small hands enveloping around the Herald's neck. Fen'rei froze, eyes momentarily widening in surprise before she closed them tightly and embraced the girl. 

Solas could swear he saw tears brimming from beneath her lashes. 

Fen'rei turned towards her companions, irises alight with a newfound determination, jaw tense as she barked commands to the soldiers surrounding her. Her voice was calm and confident, words never wavering and she looked like a leader, spoke like a leader. 

He had approached her, staff in hand and ready to fight by her side. Her gaze moved to his silverite orbs, the edges of her lids softening at his appearance, lower lip trembling for a split second. In that moment, he felt his own stomach twist dreadfully, heart skipping beats as he feared what would come next. 

"Herald!" He stood before her, eyes pleading, begging.

She could not perish because of him.

"Solas! I need you to help the people here! We can't let them be slaughtered and there aren't enough soldiers within the village to help those unprepared!" She said and he could feel the desperate pull at his throat.

He couldn't let her go like this. The Inquisition would fall without her. 

"Herald, _please_ \--" he had tried and failed, yet again. 

She had stepped forward, her scent overwhelming him, a tinge of spiced wine echoing around it. Her fingers enveloped his bicep, the contact sending sparks across his flesh. Her voice was soothing, pleading, reminding him of the soft approach she had with the _shem'len_ child. 

"No, Solas.. please .. help _them_. I'll handle the rest. Just get them to safety." Fingers tightened around his forearm, eyes narrowed, the nightly sky making them seem almost amber.

"Herald, we have to go!" Cassandra urged as her eyes narrowed, feet already on their way to help the soldiers around the gate. 

Solas let out a deep breath and then nodded in defeat, his own hand coming to rest on hers as he reassured her, voice hoarse. "Don't die, _lethal'lan_." 

"Ma nuvenin, _lethal'lin_." She whispered, the Elvhen rolling of her tongue as she broke the contact they had created. 

She turned towards the oncoming storm of red templars, daggers unsheathed and ready to strike, to fight through yet another battle he had foolishly created for her, to protect the people that had been put in her care, people she now cherished more than anything else. 

The red lyrium glowed around the village as the templars surrounded it and Solas took it upon himself to fulfill his promise to her, hoping that she would keep hers. 

The magical energy around him crackled as he struck a templar with a spell, icy crystals forming around the lyrium armour as he let out a scream. He followed the growing number of the abominations, striking them down with a skilled hand, exhaustion growing in his bones. 

He hoped this wouldn't be the last time he would see her. 

It wasn't.

The Chantry was filled with pained souls, anguished, hurting, sorrowful. It was overwhelming, but he tried his best to soothe the panicked minds, the trembling figures, the sobbing throats. He had given it all from within his being to not let them be hurt and yet it did not help. In wars, as disturbing and unhinged as this one, there was no escape from death and ruin. The chaos that was Haven, that was nothing, compared to what many wars before this one had endured. That did not bring any comfort, though. 

He had just finished applying a salve to the burnt arm of a woman, her sobs still echoing against his ears, when he heard her enter through the Chantry doors. A large echo of a screech sounded above them and he realised from the terrified expressions on their faces that they did not have much time. He wasn't certain that they had any time at all.

The Elder One's army was prepared and he had a dragon, a being posing as an archdemon, as its main course of destruction. He did not care if he had to destroy everything in his wake, he would find a way to prove the godhood that he had bestowed upon himself. 

Solas knew that chances of surviving this were slim. 

She was clutching at her disheveled hair, feet moving from one side to another as she paced in pure panic, uncertainty and fear coursing through her eyes like waves of dark gold.

"We cannot just let him take Haven!" She had shouted at Cullen, arms moving in rigorous strikes. 

Solas tried to focus on attending to the wounded, but the sheer, horrified lilt of his voice made his heart clench painfully. His fault. It was his fault she was experiencing such agony.

"We cannot defeat him, Herald. His forces are powerful and they keep coming in waves. Our soldiers _cannot_ survive out there. The dragon's only goal is to destroy us all. It is either that or we bury Haven with another avalanche. At the very least, we get to choose how we die." His words were cutting and Solas could hear the frightened gasps surrounding them. 

Fen'rei let out a deep breath, wincing as she did so and Solas could feel his heart bolt faster as he scoured her form in search of a wound. A gash on her thigh alerted him, the blood already crusted over her armour. He could've prevented that. 

"I will not let these people die!" Her hand had gripped her temple, the Mark burning from within. 

A voice, wistful and calm, had stopped the two from continuing their argument. "He wants you. He burns, hatred moving through him like red lyrium that burns through the soldiers outside. He's dark, menacing. I don't like him." The boy had spoken, blonde locks hidden beneath a large hat, his hands pressed against Chancellor Rodrick's wound.

"You don't _like_ him?!" Cullen had scoffed, face marred with irritation.

"He wants me?" She had ignored the Commander's remark, instead, the lightning in her eyes focused on the boy. 

Solas could see her jaw tensing as her mind swirled and he stepped away from the wounded, allowing himself to get closer to the commotion.

"Not you. The Mark on your hand. That is why he hates you. Ritual stopped, mortal hand burning, a petty thief. Need to gain more, need to finish it. He burns, it's too bright." He rambled, pale, white eyes focused ahead. 

"Could I lure him out? Perhaps you could find a way to escape Haven.. _I could_ \-- there has to be a way, Cullen.. we can't just perish like this, not after everything we've done .." she trailed off, chest heaving as she fought to think of a course of action. 

Chancellor Roderick had leaned forward from his place on the chair, teeth gritting in pain as he gripped the bleeding gash in his side. His face was pale, purple circles lighting underneath his dark eyes. He coughed, struggling to speak, blood seeping from the corner of his lips. The boy had leaned down next to him, eyes widening as he whispered words unknown. 

Fen'rei gazed at the interaction, orbs empty and devoid of hope. Her eyes flickered towards Solas, searching for comfort, yearning for something that would reassure her that not everything could be lost. Solas' gaze glanced towards the gash on her thigh and she noticed, head shaking as if to reassure him. The motion failed, he could tell she was in pain from the way she kept one hand close to the wound, fingers clenching. 

"There is a way." The Chancellor finally uttered out, voice ragged and barely existent. "There is a passage from where we could escape. It is a tunnel hidden within the Chantry. I was there when it was built, so I am the only one left who knows about it." 

Fen'rei let out a deep breath, eyes moving to Cullen as she nodded. He gazed at her, shaking his head, once, twice and then, he stopped. This would be their only chance of survival. 

"So.." she began with a shaky voice, "I could buy you some time while you lead everyone to safety.."

Solas stopped in his tracks, his form frozen as he gazed at her features, the pools of gold suddenly much brighter as she accepted her fate in mere seconds, lips quirked in the faintest ghost of a smile. He swallowed, feeling the dryness in his throat, his palms sweaty as he clenched them. This was pure fear, a sensation that she should be feeling instead of accepting this ridiculous seal of fate. He felt anger bubbling within him. 

"You mean you'd bury Haven and _yourself_ to stop The Elder One?" Cullen asked, voice incredulous, eyes widened in questioning. 

"Cullen, would it work? I _need_ to know." She demanded, face pale and breaths coming out in short exhales. 

She always wondered how she would feel in a situation such as this. Nothing could have prepared her for the acceptance that resonated through her chest. If it meant that they would survive, she will do it. It was the right thing to do. They believed in her. 

"The avalanche would stop his forces, bury them while we escape. But you would--" Cullen paused, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation. "Perhaps, you will find a way. Surprise him .." he trailed off, though she was not certain who he was trying to reassure.

Her golden eyes swept over the people, both wounded and broken that huddled together, some praying, some letting out their sorrow, their anger, their frustration, their fear. They deserved more. They needed more. And she could give it to them. 

Her head bowed, only for a moment, and then it rose, eyes flaring with a fire. "Then it is settled. I need you to lead the people and the Inquisition out of here. I trust you, Cullen." She gripped his shoulder, lips moving in a tight smile, "Thank you." 

Chancellor Roderick turned towards her, one arm around the boy's shoulder and the other one pressed tightly against his side. He coughed, blood dripping against the stone floor. "Perhaps, I was wrong. Perhaps, you really are the Herald of Andraste. After all, what else could have enlightened me about our escape, if not divine will? I--" another hacking, splitting cough. 

"He doesn't have much time. The red templar, the blade went too deep. He will die." The boy said. 

The Chancellor let out a laugh, a gurgling sound. " _What_ a charming boy." 

Fen'rei nodded towards them, eyes piercing the Chancellor's in silent thanks. Before she could leave, Solas rushed towards her. 

His usual calm and polite exterior that he presented to everyone was shattered. Pieces of emotions flooded through the cracks and Fen'rei could see them floating in his silver irises, the intensity of the sensations overwhelming. She gazed at his features, admiring them, wondering whether this would be the last time she would fleetingly glance at the bow of his pink lips, the porcelain skin, the slope of his lupine nose, sharpness of his jaw. 

She longed for him. And she could see the hidden want in the watery gaze of luminous silverite. 

"Herald-- _lethal'lan_ , what are you doing? This is suicide!" His voice was raised, staff abandoned on the stone floor. 

"Solas, _dara_. There isn't much time. I have to do this." She said, voice low and warm, so very warm it made his heart ache.

"The Inquisition needs a leader. You are their leader, you are their guide! You cannot--" 

Her hands enveloped around his neck, her nose burrowing into his neck as she breathed deeply, a small smile on her lips as she whispered. " _Sule tale tasalal, lethal'lin._ " 

He froze, eyes brimming with unshed tears, liquid of sorrow that he fought to restrain inside, to not let it be shed. He was not weak. He could not be. 

His arms embraced her, his nose burrowing in the remnants of her low bun, breathing in the scent that still lingered there along with the red lyrium and steel odor of blood. He tightened his arms around her, not wanting to let go, and it only lasted for a moment, before she slipped away, soundless, voiceless, gone. 

He stood there for what seemed like eternity until he felt the strong hand of the Commander snapping him out of his daze, shouting at him to get out through the passage. He followed, numbly, mind in a haze as he thought of her fighting the archdemon by herself. 

Perhaps, she would survive. Perhaps, it was not their final embrace. 

**Author's Note:**

> All Elvhen is from Fenxshiral's Project Elvhen!
> 
> Ma nuvenin - as you say  
> Sule tale tasalal - I'll see you soon  
> dara - go, in imperative


End file.
